What recovering people usually find is that they started drinking because of underlying negative issues. Alcohol is never the sole cause of the disease. The abuse and reliance on alcohol start because a person was hurt by something and used alcohol to mellow it out. After years of drinking, you may have buried the causes but that does not mean they are still not there.
People drink because they are also spiritually ill. It takes a lot of time to find the damages to one’s spirit after one stops drinking. It usually is buried by all the drinking so a lot of digging is needed. Resentment is basically any negative emotion that could have caused the drinking. It could be at yourself, someone around you or at a situation in life. These are some of the feelings you could be feeling.
- Ill Will
All of these emotions make recovery very difficult. They are very extreme, and no one likes to feel these emotions. Recognizing them is a significant first step, but you will need to work on controlling them too.
No one can recover alone. In fact, no one can live life alone. An addict is prone to isolation becomes they are different from many people around them. They have a chronic disease while most people around them are unaware of that. When things do not feel right, sometimes an addict will try to protect themselves by putting up a guard.
The biggest problem with isolation is that it can get to the point where the only two things in your world left – your addiction and yourself. That is a very dangerous place to be. It becomes a one on one fight. Before you isolated yourself, you had support.
We all experience doubt in everything we do. However, this can be a very dangerous thought for people who recover. You doubt you can do it. You doubt the sober life is worth it. You doubt happiness and might wonder if life with alcohol was actually better. These doubts can rack up and put a lot of pressure on someone who is trying to recover. The best thing to do is take a deep breath and remember that all life projects will incur doubt. Just know that this is a natural process of achieving something. Doubt means you are doing something right.